Help Keep morons.org Fresh!

Update, 2002/07/28
Web site completely re-engineered and released.

Update, 2002/02/08
Most of the final cleanup of the new comments system code is in place. The much-requested "Expand All" button is in place. Once you hit that, you're going to always get the expanded view until you hit the "Normal View" button.

Update, 2002/01/02
Happy new year! Cleaned up the navigation panel a bit (again). It seems that humans tend to observe things in small chunks, or at least that seems to be easier on the eyes. Amazing what a few <HR>'s will do.

Update, 2001/12/30
Posted the top 10 moronic stories of 2001. Also made the poster's picture and/or name link to his or her profile, and the profile includes a paginated list of articles posted by that person.

Update, 2001/12/27
Added a new feature, Sidebar. If you are using Netscape 6/Mozilla or Opera 6, you can add a nifty morons.org headlines sidebar/panel.

Update, 2001/12/22
New hate mail!

Update, 2001/12/08
I've compiled a new php interpreter and stripped out a lot of the junk the site doesn't use, and included support for zlib. I had to write some code to make the comments data compressed on disk, because it was using up a ton of space, what with the rednecks posting their nonsense and whatnot.

If you see anything that isn't working, please send feedback and let us know. I tried to test everything, but with these things there's always something that gets missed...

Update, 2001/12/05
You can now sign up for an account to reserve your comments handle. There's also a new mailing list for a daily digest of new posts to the site by user requests. You wanted it, so there it is! Last, but not least, you can now put HTML links in your comments. Just make sure your links are well-formed, or they'll get mangled or removed. Whew. That was a lot of work.

Update, 2001/11/26
Comments no longer display your IP address, but rest assured, I'm still logging it in case there's abuse of any kind.

Update, 2001/11/20
Comments are now integrated with articles, thanks to reader suggestions. Whew.

Update, 2001/11/17
Holy mother of fuck! Look at all this new/revised shit! I've been giving the site a bit of a facelift. Mind you, I know exactly nothing about site design, and I don't have a creative bone in my body. So I went out and read a bunch of documents on the subject and learned that there are things called "balance" and "whitespace" that are considered fairly important. I noticed that morons.org didn't have either of these things. Oops. It does now, if you have a CSS-enabled browser (and you should). And for the kid in all of us, there's a Busy Box too :)

Update, 2001/10/25
If you're using Mozilla (and you should be), you can take advantage of some neato new features. Morons.org now supports the w3c standard Site Navigation tool using the <LINK> tag. To turn this on in Mozilla, go to View | Show/Hide | Site Navigation Bar | Show Only as Needed (or Show Always if you prefer). You'll need Mozilla 0.9.5 or later for this to work. Once you have it enabled, article navigation gets a lot easier.

Update, 2001/10/10
The "email to a friend" feature now lets you list multiple addresses and include a short message to your friend.

Update, 2001/10/09
Headlines for your handheld are now available via Avantgo!

Update, 2001/10/08
A new search tool that allows more complex searches is available, as well as easy searches with Google.

Update, 2001/09/24
The 666 Club is complete. There are 666 members of the mailing list.

Update, 2001/09/24
New feature: "Related Articles". This one probably needs some tuning, but the idea is to get a list of articles closely related in some way to the article you just read.

Update, 2001/09/14
Two new style sheets: aquamarine and monochrome.

Update, 2001/09/13
Four new style sheets: blue, greenscreen, PC, and night.

Update, 2001/08/16
New section: Random

Update, 2001/07/31
Catholics don't like us!

From http://www.catholicleague.org/research/anticat_internet.htm:

...The aptly-named morons.org is an obscenity-laced screed that accuses the Church of ongoing campaigns that "slaughtered millions." The website is primarily based on an agenda of sexual liberation, though it's [sic] focus is wider in attacking any traditional expression of values or beliefs. Yet, it provides "anti-Catholic links" which are essentially traditional old-Protestant attacks on the Catholic Church. Most of the links listed would be horrified to be associated with the gutter language and anti-Christian commentary on morons.org.

From http://www.catholicleague.org/2000report/media2000.html:

On morons.org the Catholic Church is accused of "slaughtering millions" and links are provided to various traditional anti-Catholic sites on the Internet.

We've never been so flattered!

Update, 2001/07/25
New book excerpt from Everyday Questions Teenagers Ask

Update, 2001/07/24
You can now add your own comments to articles. How exciting!

Update, 2001/07/23
Morons.org has been honored in the "Humor and the Unusual" category on Seven Wonders

Update, 2001/06/28
New rant about Cookie Hysteria

Update, 2001/06/19
I've added some code to make news stories pop up in a new window. If you have javascript enabled, the window will get the focus as well. Like it? Hate it? Send feedback.

Update, 2001/06/04
We've started doing automatic weekly mailings of the top moronic stories from the previous week, chosen by reader votes. Your vote counts and will help decide what's dumb enough to email! Be sure to sign up for the mailing list if you'd like to receive the weekly mailing.

Update, 2001/05/30
New book excerpt, From Youth into Manhood

Update, 2001/04/18
I've added a cafepress.com store to the site where you can get morons.org merchandise at cost. I'm not making anything off this. Right now there are 11 and 15 ounce coffee mugs and mousepads for your enjoyment.

Update, 2001/04/18
Because of the Alcatel story, the site has gotten hammered for the last 3 days. Good thing I thought to implement database query caching over the weekend! We've gotten nearly half a million hits for April so far, compared with about 20,000 for all of March. Hopefully some of these folks become regulars!

Update, 2001/04/12
Morons.org is a year old!

Update, 2001/04/07
Got rid of the stupid ad banner. It's not generating many hits, and it makes the page load slowly. In a word, it was lame. Also, I've been touching the site up a bit.

Update, 2001/03/28
Added a widget so browsers that support CSS can change to an alternate style sheet. Uses cookies, so don't be a putz if you want the widget to work.

Update, 2001/03/24
Added new links to each article display: comment, discuss, and email to a friend. Cleaned up article URLs.

Update, 2001/02/11
New edition of What Would Gorthak Do

Update, 2000/12/24
Happy Holidays! I finally fixed voting as a present to everyone. The problems were partially some really wacked PHP code plied on top of some strange "optimizations" in the web server. Everything is OK again for now, as far as I can tell.

Update, 2000/12/22
Added pictures from my short vacation in Crestview, FL, so everyone can see what a shithole Northwest Florida is.

Update, 2000/12/10
Added an excerpt from What a Young Man Ought to Know to Morons of the Past

Update, 2000/09/24/
Subdivided Morons of the Past by topic. Also added The Homosexual Life from "Sexual Abnormalities" to the new homosexuality section.

Update, 2000/09/21
Added Safe Counsel to morons of the past

Update, 2000/09/12
Added Jack Chick to the list of Career Morons, complete with commentary about his stupid Christian tracts.

Update, 2000/09/09
Added For the Children commentary section.

Update, 2000/08/13
Added How Manhood is Wrecked to Morons of the Past

Update, 2000/07/21
Things are transitioning to our new provider, pair.com. Some things may be in a non-working state.

Update, 2000/07/19
I'm tired.

Update, 2000/07/14
It's a slow news day, so look at our cheesy banners.

Update, 2000/07/13
There is no silent majority.

Update, 2000/07/10
Article headlines are now available via RSS!